I’d like to dedicate this post to the man who pulled his car over when he saw me running a few weeks ago.
I assumed you’d ask me for directions. Instead you asked “how pregnant ARE you?” When I told you I was 7 months along, you added “are you going to keep running the whole time?”
YES sir! After consulting with my doctor, I’ve decided to continue getting a moderate amount of daily exercise until I physically can’t. Or until another inquisitive stranger stops me so they too can weigh in on my personal choices.
This one’s for you and other well-meaning busybodies. Butt out please.
To All the Chatty Strangers
First and foremost, thank you for your kind words and your genuine interest. I appreciate your enthusiasm and I love that you want to share in my excitement as my due date draws near.
I know you mean well. I also know that there are many pregnant women out there who bask in your attention. You may not recognize their condition unless you catch them head-on. From the back, you’ll know them by their thick shiny hair and their radiant glowing skin.
Well guess what? I am NOT one of those women. I am the shy pregnant lady hiding in an oversized coat and massive scarf and hoping to fly under the radar.
I personally believe that unless you’re an on-duty OBGYN, you should tread cautiously when initiating a conversation with a woman about her pregnancy.
You never know how she feels physically and emotionally. Plus, most importantly, you can never be 100% positive that she’s actually pregnant.
10 Things to Consider Before Chatting Up a Pregnant Lady
Not convinced? Here’s a few more things I’ve learned from two pregnancies worth of unsolicited comments:
- Women can look up to six months pregnant for a short time following the birth of a child. Better make sure that baby’s still in there before you jump in and ask when they’re due.
- Before you assume there’s a spouse in the picture, know that 40% of US births occur out of wedlock.
- Sadly, not everyone feels beautiful, healthy and upbeat throughout their pregnancy. 10% of pregnant women experience a mental disorder such as depression. You can bet that those of us lucky enough to avoid mental distress are still physically uncomfortable.
- I don’t want your advice. Even if it’s really good advice.
- Although we’ll chuckle politely, none of us will ever be flattered or amused by phrases like “about to pop” and “woah, how many are in there?”
- Pregnancy does not suddenly make me open to being touched by strangers. If anything, I’m more protective of my body now. Please fight the urge to go around touching pregnant bellies. If you can’t help yourself, at least ask permission first.
- It gets very old answering the following questions in the following order: “When are you due?” “Is this your first?” How are you feeling?” Do you know what you’re having?” “Have you picked out a name yet?” . . . . OK, for those of you who are wondering – I’m due in February. This is my second. I’m feeling uncomfortable but also very fortunate to be eight months into an uneventful pregnancy. I’m having a baby boy. No, we refuse to commit to a name until we meet him.
- Healthy pregnant women come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Chances are none of them want to hear your thoughts on their shape or their size. Try to remember that gaining too much or too little during pregnancy could be a source of anxiety for the mom-to-be.
- Elevators are a scary place for pregnant women. Something about being in a confined space near a pregnant body inspires even the most reserved people to pry. Plus we usually have to pee so the prospect of getting stuck is terrifying.
- My eyes are up here. It’s a weird sensation knowing that someone is staring at you. Nothing makes me as uncomfortable as people who can’t look away from my belly but don’t say a word.
Who Else is Sick of the Comments?
Here’s my pledge to all the pregnant ladies out there. I will not presume to know anything about your personal life or comment on the shape of your body. I will not question your lifestyle choices and I’ll try not to offer advice you didn’t ask for.
Ok, I lied about that last one. Here’s some advice. If you can’t take it anymore, you can always respond to the next unwanted comment with “what do you mean?”, “Oh my god, you actually think I’m pregnant?” or “I had the baby three months ago”. If you share my cruel sense of humor, seeing people’s mortified reaction will never get old.
So don’t hold back on me. What’s the weirdest thing someone said to you while you were pregnant?
